I have a small obsession with life analogies and there is one in
particular that continues to come alive to me after many years now. It's the
life analogy of rivers. Rivers are dynamic, they begin on a mountaintop and
they end at sea level. They are changing in size, color, temperature, speed.
They are beautiful to look at. Peaceful to be around. They can be safe to play
in, but also dangerous to float on. They flow regardless of the weather. Rivers
have a strong current that is leading the water to a final destination. That is
what I like most about rivers. They have so many characteristics, but the one
common denominator is they are driven somewhere on purpose.
That is the life I want. We are all headed somewhere, I want to be in the
middle of God’s current letting Him lead me there on purpose.
Believe it or not, this river analogy does have something to do with our
family. If Bart and I look back on the last 10+ years of life, we have noticed
that God has taken our river on a journey to see all sorts of brokenness around
the world. It certainly seems that our lives were purposefully flowing by many
countries and people that were desperately in need. It has been an experience
that now seems to be an integral part of who we are. There has been an
underlying stirring in my heart that our adoption journey is not over. It is so
exciting, but also realize that adding more kids is a lot of work and adoption itself
is not always easy. On a lot of levels. Think about it...it’s like getting
pregnant, but it takes much longer and costs much more. You don’t know what
your child will look like, act like or talk like. You have no control over
those very crucial first years when life could forever damage your child. You
wish you could be there to protect them and keep them safe. You might be
walking into major or minor disorders, attachment issues, or developmental
delays. The worst fear for me is that you will never feel that same connection you
do with a biological child and what if they never truly love me.
If it sounds familiar but you can't place it, maybe this will help ring
a bell. Adoption was God's plan first. He knew, before He decided to execute
His master redemption plan, just how unlovable we would be. We
are a lovely people but we do come with disorders. We sometimes show no
resemblance of Him. At times our actions, looks, or tongue dishonor Him. And worst of all, some of us would
never truly love Him. But knowing all that, Jesus died for our sins anyways.
Through His perfect love He adopts us into His family. He loves us. He invests
in our lives. He sends His Spirit to live inside of us and promises to lead us
through this life. And we have the privilege of becoming children of God. Wow. Through
our unloveableness, there is this love, His love. A love that is lavished in
"GRACE". It's a love that can forgive, redeem, restore and continue
to love. That is the kind of love He adopts us with, and it's also the kind He
gives us to pass on. How could I not offer what I have already received? God's
perfect love. I pray He will funnel His perfect love through me, an imperfect
daughter, onto and into as many imperfect children as He would entrust me with.
It's not easy, but when did that ever become my life motto? I cannot choose to
live an easy life and get to the end of all my days and say, "I feel so
satisfied that I led an easy life. I did not have to risk much. I was able to
float through mainly stagnant seasons of life protected and covered in
algae."
Life is risky. Or at least it feels that way. But actually there is a
great joy and thrill in living with risk. At the end of my life, what I pray
I'd be able to say is more along the lines of "I immersed myself fully in
Jesus, living my days dangerously surrendered, I prayed to God to set me in a
river that reaches the ocean with great momentum, and finishes strong. Even
though my life was hard at times, I believe God used it to impact His Kingdom.
I lived with purpose. I didn't need to know what's ahead, and I wasn't afraid
of letting go of my agenda or comfort. I did believed the hope that I had and
did not shrink back, but believed and was saved. I trusted God who is able to
lead me to my final destination."
Sometimes writing on paper what feels like a profound concept to me,
doesn't come out the way I want it to, but the bottom line is this: God has led
us on a continuing journey of adoption, that we don't expect will be easy and
comes with great risk. But we feel this is a part of the journey God has called
us to and we want to jump in with both feet doing the will of Jesus. And
truthfully, there is such great joy in doing the will of God, which we know
will all be worth it. He has created brokenness in our hearts for orphans in
the poorest parts of this present world, that we cannot turn away from. There
is a room in our home, a seat in our mini-van, a place at the table, and love
in our hearts for two precious little girls of His choosing. We long to offer
freely the love we already received. We feel led from the Lord to adopt from
Haiti and we are so excited to meet the two treasured faces He will bring into
our family. We invite you to join us on this journey, through the ups and downs
and twists and turns. Life is full of the unexpected, here we go!
